2nd conference

the pilgrimage


a confession is made
the confession of the long journey across northern spain
from st jean pied de port 500 miles east on the ancient trail
to Santiago de compostela west to  the     coast


imagine my interest
I of course having only trod less than half the distance
of this ardent pilgrim
still I felt my journey which returned to me
in vivid detail during the course of this talk
was still something strong in my memory
perhaps being the nearest thing to an actual spiritual experience I have had
(  well that's not particularly true when I stop to consider the  long narrative
of my walk in the faith...perhaps in terms of intentional spiritual experiences...something one sets out to do...like climb a mountain or something like that  )


he spoke of realizing he was carrying too much
I responded inwardly by reminding myself I had carried a heavy load
perhaps 15 lbs heavier than I really needed
but for my own reasons I had determined that I was going to get a return to good health
and the extra weight was going to assure me of getting back in shape
which by the end of the journey there was no doubt
I had become very strong in the legs and my back felt stronger than it had in years
so I chose to be a sort of mule
I was in the process of recovering from a traumatic episode of surgery
and I needed the long walk physically as much as spiritually


at one point I even took on more weight deliberately
on the first few days I added maybe 5 - 10 lbs
in order to lighten the load of the one I so dearly love
for she had hurt her back


our pilgrim had to tell the story of the people he met along the way
he suggested that the idea of the pilgrimage was to do it alone
and immediately I had the sense that one day I would do it alone
perhaps the whole way
yet I think I would take the northern route along the northern coast of spain
from bilbao west


he spoke of learning to trust god along the way in a radical manner
the story of wet socks and no alternative but to put on wet socks in the morning
only to discover a man standing in front of him who had too many socks
and wanted to get rid of some
and then later that day in a very tired and anxious state with nothing to eat
for he had abandoned his chocolate   (  something I would never do   )
only to be passed by a fast walking Asian woman who after 50 yds or so turned around and
offered him some of her chocolate which gave him the strength and joy
to make it to the next town


I found myself wondering anew about my pilgrimage
about the relationship that was forged
and how complicated the lives of three people can be
and things like one day discovering
that I was deeply in love with the woman with whom I was walking
and she was walking with her husband who needed her fiercely
I supposed he would die without her
but anyway
someone who had been a friend and for whom I truly cared for as a friend
all of a sudden became something more
someone for whom I knew I would do most anything
I would travel any distance over any mountain pass
to assure her of her well-being
I will admit that I still have not fully adjusted to this turn of events
it was only the immortal spirit of don Quixote who was able to guide me then in the ways of chivalry and errantry and a more poetic approach to human affairs in general if I may fall over on my face in a mudhole


yet I am eternally grateful


I found myself thinking about how many times I swam naked in rivers in spain


how delirious I became toward the end of the trip


I relived the night I was stranded in Madrid by myself


he recounted the prayer stone mountain the phenomenon of taking up a stone
upon which one infuse the thoughts of all the people you love and want to pray for during  the long walk
I recall sally placing the stone she carried solemnly on the hill when we passed it
shortly after biero I believe it was


I carried a guitar


it was great to think      about my pilgrimage along with this other pilgrim
and it was great to think that I went to mass at least every other day
along the long journey and stopped and prayed at every church




I would do it again in a heartbeat






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