i have to say that i am really enjoying
the morning prayer service
that we have begun at our church
on wednesdays during lent
only 4-5 people typically show up
but it feels like commmunity nonetheless
we sit facing each other in the choir stalls
and alternate verses of the psalms
for an introvert like me
this coming together
to begin the day with prayer
provides a stronger sense of connection
than the "fellowship lunches"
we have in the church basement
i find that in my solitary morning prayer
during the rest of the week
i hear in my mind the voice of the woman
who sits beside me wednesday mornings
and then on the alternate verses
i hear the voices of those who normally sit facing me
it makes my solitary prayer
not so solitary
thanks pilgrim
ReplyDeletefor this insight into
communal prayer
we here at communitas dies
applaud and extol you
to persist in your lenten burden
lifting is always easier with
two or more people
chant did i hear chant
some one might want me to chant
to teach some people to chant
i'd do anything i could
to keep communal prayer rich and vital
anywhere in the world
it's a mark of my vocation
my invocation
my propesity to
wel um hnmh well ah
yeah well
tadatadatatatatdat data
chanta a little chant pour moi
sounds of the country
peace
jh
well
ReplyDeletespeaking of lenten burdens
there was a cross today
consisting of traffic
awful stop-and-go traffic
on my way home from pasadena this afternoon
it took me over an hour and a half
to get from pasadena to ikea
(i often stop at ikea
on the way home from pasadena these days
there's always one more thing
that i need from there
for the new house)
except that today there were
three things that i needed
(1) some replacement pegs for
our bookcases that got lost in the move
(2) some linseed oil for the wood countertop on the kitchen island
(3) a small table for our walk-in closet
well i was already frustrated
by the time i got there
because of the traffic
and it was getting late
and i was getting hungry
first the book case pegs
(well, first AFTER the obligatory stop
at the "as is" section)
the first salesperson told me
"yeah we have those somewhere
check with the bookcases themselves
or in the home organization section
of the market place"
i had been hoping for help that was
a little more specific than that
the salesperson saw my disappointment
with his answer and quickly added
"there should be someone there to help you"
so i wandered around looking for the
warehouse aisle that had the book cases
found a sales person and was told:
"we don't sell those separately
you'll have to go to customer service"
and upon making my way to that department
i was told that they
didn't have any in stock
and would have to order them
so then i set off in search of item #2
the linseed oil
i asked another salesperson on the warehouse floor
and was told that it was "probably"
upstairs in the kitchen section
so i headed up there
wound my way through living rooms
to kitchens
waited for the salesperson to finish
helping another customer
she then looked it up in the computer for me
"aisle 18, bin 80" she said
so back downstairs
by now i know my way around well enough
to skip the labyrinth of the market place
and head directly to the warehouse area
ok there's aisle 18
here's bin 1, 2, 3 ...
bin 80 must be a long way down
all the way at the very very end
of the long long aisle
(well at least i'm getting
some exercise, i said to console myself)
finally arrived at bin 80
no linseed oil
just some black stain
not what i needed
all the way back up
the long long aisle
look for a salesperson
who checked the computer for me
and confirmed that aisle 18, bin 80
was the correct location
of course he had to walk all the way
back down to bin 80
to see if maybe it really was there
and i had missed it
so i walked with him
all the way down
and all the way back
he decides to call
up to the kitchen department
no answer
he gets another warehouse person to help
who then also has to walk all the way
down to bin 80 to see for himself
after he returns he tells me to wait there
while he checks on something
and wanders off
... continuing
ReplyDeletei decide to go in search of
the third item on my list
while i am waiting for him to return
i find it easily enough
though of course it is heavy
and is up on a shelf that is
just barely within my reach
i call out to a salesperson
who is walking nearby
he doesn't hear me
so i huff and puff
and stand on tip toe
and wriggle the box back and forth
until it is far enough out
that i can sort of get a grip on it
and then i pull some more
until is starts to slide down
toward me and i catch it and
ease it down onto the floor
meanwhile the salesman who
hadn't heard me call for help
comes back and sees me and says
"that was the most awkward
thing i've ever seen"
"gee thanks" i said
turning and wheeling my cart away
i head back to where the other salesperson
had left me to go in search of linseed oil
and sit down on the box in my cart
completely spent
trying to get a handle
on my growing frustration
"these are my kids"
i hear jesus say
when i start to think
uncharitable thoughts toward
the salespeople
(ok, i'll admit that i wasn't just
"starting" to think uncharitable thoughts
they were getting pretty full blown by now)
"i know, i know" i concede
and my heart opens just a little
toward them
and i think about you
smiling at the cell phone
salesperson
or was it the computer/internet contract
that was so oppressive?
any way
i think
maybe i could actually
give a genuine smile
to these high school or college kids
who are working here
but by the time the guy returns
with the news that they simply
don't have any linseed oil
and the computer which says they have
13 bottles of it is just plain wrong
that window of opening in my heart has shut
and i grumble something about
having driven an hour and a half
to get there
and i am terse with the person
at the check-counter
who remembers me asking about
the book-shelf pegs 45 minutes earlier
and politely asks me if i found
everything i needed
"no" i growl and walk away
after managing to flop
the box containing the table
into the back of the car
i notice the cross hanging from neck
in plain sight and think
"gee lord, i guess i wasn't
a very good example of a christian tonight"
jesus smiles
and then i remember
that he himself
cursed a fig tree
when he was tired and hungry
so i knew that he understood
what it was like for me
and that was kind of cool
and helped me to not feel so bad about it
i thought i had stated something pretty clever to all this
ReplyDeletesomething jesus might've said
ah well
at least you understand that chirst is a sort of comedian
he couldn't help himself
cajoling joking
sursing trees
what a card
cursing trees
ReplyDeleteit's late
i should be asleep