things fall apart

odd
i think to myself
life is sometmes very odd

if i had any preconceived notions about the camino
it was that most people are actually doing some sort of
serious pilgrimage

at dinner the other night a man who basically invited himself
to our table
thought that the statement
¨don´t judge anyone elses ´  camino¨

but we notice things and we judge for ourselves
what is going on

my take on the matter is that most people
are in it for the simple experience of making some distance
and perhaps meeting people
very few people are stopping at the churches
very few people indicate any sort of serious pilgrimage
the effort to get in touch with something ancient
a practice which marked christians from the earliest days

the camino is a market place of possibilities
i´m sure it stands as a place of commercial success
money flows along the camino

outside the church of santa marina
in sarria the other day a man from germany
asked in an animated way
what was my purpose
he told me he had only ever spend about 5 days
on the comino at any one time
he has returned numerous times but only walks for 5 days then returns home

he wanted know what the big deal was
he himself felt drawn somehow to spend time on the trail
but had no interest in completing it
it seemed that for him it was enough to be on it for awhile
then call it good and go home

i responded that at some level most people are seeking something
even if they can´t express anything beyond some immediate daily experience
they walk and they move ahead with a sense of expectation
whether that expectation is satisfied in any way is within the
minds of those who go through the process

in a small town before sarria i was accosted by a guy
with the intention of having me participate in a project
he wanted to photograph and interview pilgrims
to get some sort of working idea of what the motivation and interest
in the coamino was really all about

i explained to him in no uncertain terms that i am opposed to cameras
it is my intention that cameras will cease to matter
i wish to destroy the cameras i want nothing more to do with
any photographs
he looked at me with a dumb expression of surprise
then shifted his attention to the next unsuspecting soul

i do not wish to speak of the pilgrimage
i do not wish to convey to anyone
what has happened and what it is about

i only wish to say that i stopped at every church along the way
and i understood each church as mine
and i would participate gladly in any liturgical event
any mass in any place where a catholic church exists
i felt completely at home in every church in which i sat
and i felt the presence of many many souls
who sat prayerfully and hopefully in the same pew as i
or merely stood outside with prayer in the heart
appealing to the presence inside
from the heart
awaiting an angelic touch

the pilgrimage only matters to the lost