Friday, March 30, 2012

community and death and beauty

what does it mean for a community to be able to say
our reason for existence is in something beyond us

we exist so that by exhausting our need for existence
we give witness to something else

we are being deliberate about our obsolescence

there may be a day when this community no longer exists
but for as long as it does we give witness to that thing
which is well beyond us
we live by ideals so that in that by the successful expression of those ideals
we eventually have no purpose...our duty is complete

i was thinking about this recently as a way of not stating
what is obvious in monastic life
i was thinking about this during the funerals of two recently deceased monks

one of the monks was an artist and he spent a good deal of time
in his life trying to give beautiful expression to things
during his life he was never acknowledged for any particular piece
people tended to know he was an artist
but most people could not name any particular piece he had crafted

the other monk was a scholar a reader a linguist
he took great pride in knowing the origin of words
he was famous for his enjoyment of bawdy limericks
he understood the expression of christianity as being
a festival spirit of joy
a festival that is always nearly over and forgotten

the truth about community is that it will live
according to the transcendental values held close held true

for a christian community to say
we are in this world but not citizens of this world
leaves the community with the problem of having to organize
life
around practical matters as if they are necessary for matters that transcend our most practical designs

in the rule of benedict garden tools are given a status
equal to that as the vessels of the altar
so that the notion of survival is granted both a practical and
a transcendental purpose
we are beholden to partake in the mystery of creation
and beholden to acknowledge our dependency
on the creator and we aim our efforts
toward a hoped-in perfection

a bronze sculpture will endure quite a long time
many generations
and the name of the artist may disappear
but that is no matter for the artist
his goal is something to which he perhaps
cannot even bring adequate words

yet

he must try

26 comments:

  1. nice reflection
    i always love these little glimpses
    into monastic life

    i was reflecting this past weekend
    on the nature of family as community
    feeling somewhat like an outsider
    in my own family
    at our family reunion

    not in any overt sense
    but just noticing
    the way my sister's family
    all stood together
    and my brother's family too
    there was a clearly visible sense
    of them belonging together
    belonging to each other
    which made my heart ache
    wanting to feel something similar
    and remembering feeling something like that
    in the family of my origin
    even though it was far from perfect

    i suppose i have been influenced recently
    by the catholic teachings on marriage
    on the purpose of marriage being
    to raise a family
    and feeling keenly the sense
    that john and i missed that boat
    through our own choices
    to continually postpone that choice

    i wondered whether my attraction
    to religious community
    was partly an attempt
    to fill that void of childlessness
    to find some other lofty purpose
    for my life
    now that it is too late
    to raise a family

    i suppose there are many types
    of community
    many ways of belonging
    many ways
    of giving one's self in love

    i want to be open to that

    ReplyDelete
  2. i think there must be plenty of room in the church in the world for the lived expression of commitment of a man and a woman...i've long thought that the working out of this dynamic is the groundwork of knowing peace in this world...maybe children have soemthing to do with in in that they focus us on the importance of acknowledging innocence and our need to protect that...maybe we don't ennoble enough the raw fact of a man and woman humbly working out the day to day negotiations of love

    sometimes i've thought that this has passed me by
    this desire in my heart to simply go through the
    process of daily knowing and attending to and serving
    someone to whom i am committed...there is a sense of it in monastic life but in fact we live fairly lonely lives together...we give each other a lot of room to be alone...there are some who never come out of that they stay in lonely places and in our world that's OK

    i sense that the church's notion of marital sacrament came from the appreciation of all that goes into the keeping of marital love...if it works at all there must be something mysterious and beautiful at play

    the whole social orientation and judgement about family seems to have changed drastically over the past 50 years or so

    i notice of late that religious life throughout the history of the church has adapted the references of family -- we are father we speak of mother superior we are brother we acknowledge sister and we are all striving to be like children before god

    thanks for responding over here

    jh

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jh....
    What you have written as a comment and in your beautiful Blog.....is amazing! I agree and feel the same about the words you express. Are the words real and from your soul? If these expressions of thought are your true self.....you are a genuine Human of Respect and Honor. I too, have many words and works of art within my heart that I have held within, all my life....waiting for that moment to begin and share their beauty with the man I have loved since I was a small child....I may not have known everything about him then, I may not even know everything about him now....but, I know there is no one else in this insane world I would rather spend the rest of my life with! When Humans find a true connection with another….It is very rare! Others think they have found it…only to go down the road of dissolution and separation….The true test, is over time, to feel stronger and closer than the days, months, years of the past. I am a firm believer….Love is better with time, not worse!
    Kinda corny Huh? So sorry...that is who I am...whenever I think about us. I wonder what happen, what is compelling us to always go back to each other? But, others are in the way! If we could just be alone with one voice …I know we would quickly be in sync and join each other in our unity against the evils of the world. There are many forces in this strange world seeking to separate those who seek to share the love and passions of their joy together. I could never seek solace in someone else's arms knowing the one I cared for was here with me! It was the time of hesitation and unspoken words that leads one in a different direction. The manipulations of evil forces, the many mischievous and vicious beings …who relish the joy of destruction and sorrow of others …It is sad to know, there are such people around in this reality!
    I have often wondered…what if, what I thought I felt between us, is being obstructed by those (maybe him too?) with the objective in life…to rid the world of our intensity to share our passion in life. What if our attraction to each other was their reason to wake up and take down people like you and I? Their whole existence and characteristics are about:: Racism, Jealousy, Judgment, Critical, Vengefulness, Sadism Ego, Superiority, Control, Insensitivity, Self-Entitlements etc…… They have used us, as symbols for their own hypocritical, deviant, manipulative demonic ways. They enjoy the obsession to inflict their beliefs onto us in an ultimate sham of artificial creation for their own empowerment and justification of the betterment of the world…in some distorted FAKE /REALITY show!
    Enough…I know. A bit lengthy, so sorry. In a shorter version….It sure would be nice, if all the world would accept others for who they are…Not to judge, classify, put in some sort of category, for the color of their skin, their race, their religion, their sex, car they drive, house they live in, what food they eat, what kind of pet they have, what plants grow in their garden,…It is all bit absurd, when you think about it! Live and Let Live! Viewing other human beings as different from ourselves, we are distend for destruction. Everyone….is ultimately from the same beginning…we are one! As we should be in our rights of FREEDOM, LIBERTY, PEACE and UNITY.

    Thank you…for the words of faith and community,
    SDK

    ReplyDelete
  4. jh,

    First off, thank you for your kind remarks over on Kirby's blog. They are much appreciated.

    I've been trying to find a hook to comment on, and found the following:

    for a christian community to say
    we are in this world but not citizens of this world


    I think this is not quite right, for we are citizens of this world. The distinction, I think, should be that we are called to exercise our citizenship as God's trustees, rather than in our narrow self-interest.

    I don't think this is a small distinction. To say that we're not citizens of the world is to suggest that we ought to withdraw from the affairs of the world as we are disinterested parties. But I don't think that's the call. We are interested parties.

    ReplyDelete
  5. sdk thanks for chiming in

    i've been challenged by people like sally and stu to write out my thoughts
    so i do

    stu
    my awareness of the first christian communities is that they survived on the notion that they were not in fact citizens of the world anymore....even while working out their faith and salvation in a very this world way...yet i respond with a hardness to your words

    it is my belief as well as my understanding that the principle of lex orandi lex credendi is the working idea for we christians and it is by that that we participate in the demands of the world....perhaps it is a very catholic thing and more than once i've been tempted to critique catholic culture since the second vatican council in the 60s as one that has largely abandoned that ancient sense of belonging in heaven...we mad e the option to agree to the "this world" existential way of thinnking and doing...now we're re-thinking all that..i'd have to do a long discourse on the saints the cult of the saints to support my reaction

    and maybe this is an ecumenical hurdle that we need to be honest about
    i am strengthed throughout the year by a constant reference to particular saints christians who represent soemthing great to me and it becomes my awareness that this is not merely a historical referent but an actual working referent i am edified by what i know to be the life of this person and i also know that contact with that person in faith in prayer is possible....i actually talk to thomas aquinas sometimes i know you think that's strange but i do...OK so that's out there

    the classic struggle in the soul is the mary and martha domestic debacle with jesus in the front room...you're right i guess in the sense that easter says to us the victory is won...and our life is about making good on that victory in this world but we are not confined by notions of success


    simply to say one lives by faith sort of takes one out of the mainstream demands of cultural conformity

    as always
    you spark some thinking

    easter peace and blessings to you your family and your congregation all family in the one lord as far as i can tell

    JH

    ReplyDelete
  6. jh,

    my awareness of the first christian communities is that they survived on the notion that they were not in fact citizens of the world anymore.

    I concur. But their circumstances are not our circumstances. Their world was a world ruled by Romans, according to a system that mandated worship of the Emperor as God. Citizenship, which is to say an active participation in the political life of their era, compelled Emperor worship, and Christians were martyred as a witness to the primacy of their belief in the God who is over earthly pretenders.

    But the Christianization of the Roman Empire made it possible for Christians to participate as citizens in their society, and indeed the Christians of that time came to see participation as citizens as an efficacious means of advancing God's will as they understood it in the world.

    Today, our government is secular, a reflection of philosophical systems that deny ruler the right to commit the conscience of the ruled, and instead leave religious commitment to individual conscience. Yet participation as citizens of the world (which I would argue is distinct from simply being "of the world," for we understand our citizenship as a trust to be exercised on behalf of our true king, the triune God, and not in our narrow self-interest) remains for us an efficacious means of advancing God's will as we understand it in the world.

    I am wholly sympathetic with the intuition that we should look back to early Christianity, both for the inspiration of a faith that was more charismatic and more able to function in the context of a world in which faith was the exception rather than the rule, and also for a faith that was less compromised with the world. Yet in doing so, I think it is important to recognize that there are some notable differences in context. Washington isn't perfect, but it is not imperial Rome, and trying to force the analogy in the effort recover the faith of our fore-bearers isn't going help us to do God's will in the here and now.

    I understand "the Kingdom of God" as being heaven and earth in contact. When we belong to God's Kingdom in this life, we belong to both, and serve the one through our actions in the other. These may not be the words or categories that Catholics have traditionally used, but I don't believe it is an incompatible understanding.

    i actually talk to thomas aquinas sometimes i know you think that's strange but i do

    Only if it's not a monologue :-).

    easter peace and blessings to you your family and your congregation all family in the one lord as far as i can tell

    Christ is risen, indeed! For me and for thee.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm wondering if I can chime in with an idea. Is participation in the monastic life a particular kind of citizenship in this world, not a rejection of it? A recognition and appreciation that much in this world that escapes our notice remains important, even if sometimes invisible? Can the monastic life be considered a kind of testimony, not to superb exertion, but to that which moves more slowly through time, ideals with molasses in them?

    One of the great regrets of modern life for me is the sheer speed and hubbub of it all. This isn't to say that any particular thing is wrong, but that in the sheer volume of it all, it is easy to miss softer melodies, tempos that fit graveyards instead of highways.

    I don't actually know that monasticism does any of this; I'm writing from ignorance. But I'd like for it to.

    ReplyDelete
  8. wb
    i think it safe to say that the monastic world does provide a context for constant attention to prayer...and this seeks to be a continuation of what the first groups of christians found themselves doing they found the psalms and they found places to pray together and they formalized that prayer into a rather sturdy pattern of daily attendance....monks tend to be the stewards of this prayer

    thus the principle of the liturgical year permeates our sense of purpose...we present themes that are in accord with events happening in the cosmos like changes of weather and agricultural feasts

    ours is a context for the festive
    we feast even the humdrum day
    sometimes liturgy is spare and understated as can be
    sometimes it is replete with sensuality

    i can't see why people don't incorporate this into daily existence more readily

    and i would suggest to you
    my friend stu
    that this is the crux

    what is the vision presented us
    when we indicate to the world we are not of this world
    we are aliens with a purpose

    somewhere in colossians it is stated
    put your minds in heaven

    now if the mind is in heaven the citezenship
    cannot be far behind

    modern angst is the perpetuation
    of the illusion that satisfaction can be rendered
    from this world
    it would appear that modern capitalist theory
    banks on this distortion
    be as creative as possible with the delusions
    and let the chips fall where they may

    for my part
    i take refuge in the temple of the lord

    wb
    should you incline toward a curiosity
    of our monastic life
    you should know
    you're welcome here

    we can't be that far from you

    the same i extend to you - stu

    the lord is risen
    he revealed himself to mary magdalen
    boy, was she amused
    alleluia

    jh

    ReplyDelete
  9. i found myself
    talking to mary magdalen this week
    i think she'd be
    an interesting person
    to get to know

    this conversation
    of being in the world but not of it
    is also interesting

    on the one hand
    we are very much "of" this world
    and this world is very much
    "of" God
    this is the world
    that God created
    this is the world
    that Christ died to redeem
    i very much want to be
    a part of the world that God is redeeming
    and i want to be a part
    of God's redeeming work in this world

    maybe that is what jh means
    by being aliens in this world--
    that we are not to become
    too attached to those aspects of this world
    that are going to be transformed
    by God's redeeming love

    don't get too comfortable
    because there is a remodeling project
    going on
    God's going to tear down that wall
    to open up the space a bit
    so stop leaning on it
    stop trying to patch up its cracks
    God has something else in mind


    i hope Catholics
    don't decide to leave vatican II behind
    i suspect that much of what attracts me
    to the Catholic church
    is the fruit of vatican ii

    ReplyDelete
  10. fate would have it that i would read
    from pope benedict's book J-O-N
    he is parsing the lord's prayer
    he states in the beginning
    the essence of what im trying to get a here

    the focus is on god's will
    god's will is in heaven and we
    must direct our attention there
    the will of this world is so fallen
    so deranged so subject to sin
    shoud we abandon it then

    no

    we must work to assure heaven here
    heaven since christ has a place here
    maybe it always did and he simply made it appear more
    in the bright of light

    but

    still our minds are defined by an intuition
    which clarifies itself in experiential data one would suppose

    thus we begin each day appealing to the will of god
    they will be done

    it is easy to see in the mayhem of culture and politics all that is not god's will for it causes too much grief too much distraction too much pain

    directing the mind to god's will does not diffuse the intentions of the world does not even assure us imunity
    rather we are granted a way of transcending the world
    by loving the world as he sent his only son

    so yes
    we are to participate in redeeming action
    it is only that we need to be sure every morning
    that that is what we're trying to do

    do we succeed

    that is not the issue

    amen

    alleluia

    jh

    ReplyDelete
  11. jh, you are in the St. Cloud area? I grew up in Alexandria. I'm not often up, but I'll keep the possibility of a visit in mind. I was always very much drawn to (at least the idea of) monasticism.

    ReplyDelete
  12. i believe sally that one of the telltale certainties of VC2 is the role of the laity the people have come forth in ownership and ministry in droves and this is a great new day for it makes the work of the professional religious the priests nuns monks et al look good like we're doing something so i don't think that's going to go away soon nor is the honoring of the languages of the world something which did take place for by the 1500s jesuits were writing dictionaries and grammars but the language of worship was all latin in the west until 1970 so i think the openness to theology in the tongues of the world is proving a huge moment in church selfawareness that and the yet to be understood re-apportionment of women in the catholic world it is so odd sometimes to think that there were thousands and thousands of women in convents some out of pure desire some out of convenience some out of political fate beguine the beguine ....now there's this really serious force fueled by american feminists thought....i sometimes wonder would jesus be as frightened of these girls as i am

    we're going through a sort of practical retrieval of elements which were put aside but i think the general mood established by the council will be a vision of the church for the long haul

    and now with ecumenism looming in a blooming way all these new cultural religionists insisting on the merits of their formation at the rule of if not heretics than wildly misled pretenders to DOCTRINE DID YOU HEAR ME I SAID DOCTRINE DOCTRINE - o sorry where did that come from i apoligise i didn't mean to yell haem ahem coff coff yes where was i SED CONTRA no that's not it ex CATHETER no that's not it either hmnh no salvation outside the coffee and donut room or something like that

    i yes

    the church is generally these days in a chatty mood with other christians who each 50 yrs ago would barely deem to notice one another

    and i think that's supposed to continue in the economics of salvation

    christian music life is far and wide richer these days and perhaps that's the biggest area of generous sharing is in music....but when the holy rollers start singin gregorian chant boy i wants to bee there

    monk life it's not the best life but it's a good life and it's my life i don't know where constant themes of salvation
    that are necessary for idiots like moi get stated every day i don't know where else i could get that on my own

    yr wlcm

    jh

    ReplyDelete
  13. yes wb
    i am 12 miles west of the mississippi
    just where I94 makes a wide arch to the northwest outside of st joseph just east of avon
    st john's is well signed from the main road
    a mile off the interstate you find the campus

    yr wlcm 2

    jh

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'll confess that I didn't really understand your paragraph on heretics, pretenders and doctrine.

    Father Len seemed quite proud of the fact that the Catholic Church is not exclusive; it teaches that there is indeed salvation outside of the Church. (Maybe this is a new teaching resulting from Vatican II). He talked about concentric rings, with the Catholic Church in the center, then Protestants, then the Jewish people, then Islam, then other world religions, and then atheists, but God has ways of calling all people to himself and of working in their lives for salvation, whether they ever join the Church or not.

    Yet there is apparently, an exclusivity in sharing the sacraments. You do have to be initiated into the Catholic Church to participate in those. Except baptism, I guess, and marriage--the Catholic church does recognize the sacramentality of Protestant marriages and baptisms.

    A month or two ago John and I were listening to a course on CD about St. Augustine, in which the topic of heresy came up. That was the first time it dawned on me that I and all my Presbyterian and evangelical friends might be considered heretics from the point of view of the Catholic Church. Not just separated from the Catholic Church, but actually heretics. (Or maybe those two terms mean the same thing, and the former is just a nicer way of saying the latter).

    It was sort of a knife-stabbing realization. I've never heard a Catholic say anything like that, but maybe they think it? Maybe that is the official church teaching, even though it is not often spoken out loud? I've been sort of afraid to ask, not sure if I want to know the answer.

    I guess John has never been afraid to call himself a heretic among our evangelical friends, so maybe it is no big deal... it's not like either church is burning anyone these days.

    ReplyDelete
  15. bad catholic humour sorry sally
    i was being demonstrative in a literary way
    trying to be ironic and funny at the same time

    actually i think it is a sort of funny time to be a christian
    within catholic circles there are plenty of people who pride themselves on being tongue and cheek heretics people who have deemed that rome is an outdated institution within the church and hierarchy is a joke...i always find it sort of funny to be around people like that....then there are these hyper hierarchical catholics who measure everything rather legalistically based on a few doctrines and they get hyped up about things about defining catholicism for everyone else

    my allusions were to the counter-reformation statements which state salus ex ecclesia non no salvation outside the church and the status of something being actually said by the pope as ex cathedra from the throne too much of that can look and sound a little silly i must admit but i am one

    who

    takes great solace in the magisterium
    it takes some effort to think with the mind of the church
    but i find it to be the clearest expression of the
    substance i seek with my mind and my heart

    catholic doctrine is actually stated pretty gently these days but sometimes i like to accentuate and exaggerate the idea of it pushing it over the top so to speak...sometimes i like to do that....maybe you've noticed

    maybe we need to come up with prayers for heretics
    and express some sort of gratitude for their assistance in forming doctrine


    jh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hmmm
      the comment box seems to have disappeared
      i guess i need to click on reply

      anyway
      i like your idea of praying for heretics
      and expressing gratitude toward them
      that sounds very charitable

      i still don't understand
      who or what the magisterium is
      my rcia teacher was somewhat at a loss to explain it

      he said it was the teaching arm of the church

      is it an office in the vatican somewhere? i asked
      well, no, there's not a door you can knock on to find the magisterium

      is it a group of people who have been given teaching authority?
      no, its not a specific group of people

      isn't it the collection of all of the bishops?
      i thought that's what someone told me
      no its not that; it's scripture and tradition

      i don't know
      it all sounds sort of amorphous to me

      i'm not sure that i believe that it exists
      i mean have you ever seen the magisterium?
      how do you know that it/they exist(s)?

      Delete
  16. ahh...
    now the comment box is back

    maybe the blogger.com
    is even more mysterious
    than the magisterium

    ReplyDelete
  17. the magisterium:
    hmnh
    what is it
    who is it
    what do they say
    are they real

    the college of cardinals
    is the body which deliberates over
    the viability of theology
    and what emphasis is needed whenever whereever

    the holy father is the voice of the magisterium

    the bishops are the local reflection of what the holy father is about on any given issue

    they are all beholden to a unified agreement on the great tradition

    if a theologian runs afoul of the narrow gate of viable theology for the church as far as the church leaders read it then that theologian comes up against the magisterium maybe not directly or in person but certainly in the form of communication such as letters...if the matter goes on it usualy amounts to the judicial arm of the magisterium to have a tete a tete witht he person in question

    when a catechism gets published it comes under the scrutiny of the magisterium

    there are faces there are doors to knock on there are places one could go to actually see people who are engaged in the work of the magisterium...they do important work but most catholics only hear about it indirectly possibly through a homily or reading something pertinent to any issue

    o it's real alright
    the church she's a serious lady

    :->>

    jh

    ReplyDelete
  18. ok
    i'll grant that it is
    as real as a dinosaur bone

    thanks

    warm day in the desert today
    we walked about 5 miles
    i suppose i could consider that
    training for the camino

    sfm

    ReplyDelete
  19. i've never doubted the existence of old bones
    i've merely been suspicious of the ability of science
    to adequately present what that bone is about

    dinosaur talk is like the flintstones to me
    whereas
    i'm reading a book right now written by the present pope
    i sense on the pages
    i am reading the mind of the magisterium
    at least one level or dimension of
    a very complicated and multivalent aspect
    of the body of christ
    the body of christ being somewhat more evident
    at least to me
    than the images of dinosaurs

    interesting analogy however
    many religious catholic women
    are quite wranckled this very day
    and probably carry sentiments about the vatican
    similar to the ones i carry about dinosaur studies

    in a world of 21st century enchantment
    i guess we need room for dinosaurs

    :- }}

    i chuckled

    i imagined the nativity scene
    with dinosaurs gathered round the little
    god in the manger

    st francis or even kateri tekakwitha making friends with dionsaurs
    i've learned the kateri is the catholic nature girl the patroness of ecology and environment

    st kateri
    pray for us

    jh

    ReplyDelete
  20. i meant
    . extra ecclesiam nullas salus
    or something like that

    ReplyDelete
  21. extra ecclesiam nullas salus

    is that still Catholic doctrine
    or dogma?

    if so
    how does that jive with
    what Fr. Len said about the concentric circles
    and the many ways in which God draws people to himself?

    mass tonight was presided over by
    Fr. Bob
    who occasionally fills in for Fr. Len
    he had a big bandage on his nose
    after surgery for skin cancer
    he told us it doesn't look good for him
    as he left after the service
    he shook hands with everyone who was
    within reach at the ends of the pews
    i wonder if he expected
    that this might be his last time presiding?
    it was rather poignant

    in his sermon he mentioned cursillo
    where he met jesus
    he told us that he had been
    a priest for 10 years
    before he met jesus personally
    he met him not in seminary
    but among the lay people

    ReplyDelete
  22. oops!
    that last comment was from me--sally

    ReplyDelete
  23. nobody states the loud roman plea
    from the days of counterreform any longer

    it's referred to historically
    that's about it

    it is true that the attitudes are far more
    ecumenical far more humble far more cognizant
    of other approaches
    yet and yet
    there is this adamant resistance
    to allow for much interpretive flexibility
    when it comes to matters of catholic doctrine

    the cause of unity carries a few unyielding demands

    the grammar of assent

    i like the images of concentric circles in a pond
    they're all going out out
    but they hit the shore and return
    to the place where the stone hit the surface

    i heard the homilist at mass today state
    the opposite of faith is not doubt
    but stoney conviction
    the attitude of complete resistance to other
    approaches to life

    and the greatest of these is love

    jh

    ReplyDelete
  24. this bridge-building
    is hard work

    i think i'm getting blisters

    Lord help us


    I've just started reading
    a biography of Elizabeth Behr-Sigler (1907-2005)
    an orthodox theologian
    with an interest in unity and ecumenism


    i'm thinking of enlisting
    a prayer partner here
    to support me on my journey
    i have a few women in mind

    kathie slusser and i
    used to meet bi-weekly
    to share with
    and pray for each other

    i miss that

    ReplyDelete
  25. i must reconsider my
    "NOBODY sTATES..." sTATEMENT

    i recently came across a blogsite
    of a monastery i'd never heard of
    in new york
    and the author of the site was going on and on about
    how uncatholic it was to be entertaining any sort of discussion with non-catholics

    it takes all sorts

    anyway it seems to me that the conciliar document know as Nostra Aetate is inspired in that it makes the effort to extend christian generosity beyond the perils of war hatred and mistrust

    how's your summer going

    :)

    jh

    ReplyDelete