things fall apart

odd
i think to myself
life is sometmes very odd

if i had any preconceived notions about the camino
it was that most people are actually doing some sort of
serious pilgrimage

at dinner the other night a man who basically invited himself
to our table
thought that the statement
¨don´t judge anyone elses ´  camino¨

but we notice things and we judge for ourselves
what is going on

my take on the matter is that most people
are in it for the simple experience of making some distance
and perhaps meeting people
very few people are stopping at the churches
very few people indicate any sort of serious pilgrimage
the effort to get in touch with something ancient
a practice which marked christians from the earliest days

the camino is a market place of possibilities
i´m sure it stands as a place of commercial success
money flows along the camino

outside the church of santa marina
in sarria the other day a man from germany
asked in an animated way
what was my purpose
he told me he had only ever spend about 5 days
on the comino at any one time
he has returned numerous times but only walks for 5 days then returns home

he wanted know what the big deal was
he himself felt drawn somehow to spend time on the trail
but had no interest in completing it
it seemed that for him it was enough to be on it for awhile
then call it good and go home

i responded that at some level most people are seeking something
even if they can´t express anything beyond some immediate daily experience
they walk and they move ahead with a sense of expectation
whether that expectation is satisfied in any way is within the
minds of those who go through the process

in a small town before sarria i was accosted by a guy
with the intention of having me participate in a project
he wanted to photograph and interview pilgrims
to get some sort of working idea of what the motivation and interest
in the coamino was really all about

i explained to him in no uncertain terms that i am opposed to cameras
it is my intention that cameras will cease to matter
i wish to destroy the cameras i want nothing more to do with
any photographs
he looked at me with a dumb expression of surprise
then shifted his attention to the next unsuspecting soul

i do not wish to speak of the pilgrimage
i do not wish to convey to anyone
what has happened and what it is about

i only wish to say that i stopped at every church along the way
and i understood each church as mine
and i would participate gladly in any liturgical event
any mass in any place where a catholic church exists
i felt completely at home in every church in which i sat
and i felt the presence of many many souls
who sat prayerfully and hopefully in the same pew as i
or merely stood outside with prayer in the heart
appealing to the presence inside
from the heart
awaiting an angelic touch

the pilgrimage only matters to the lost

alluvial steps

we walk in the rain
and the rain is insistent
beautiful but a bit uncomfortable
like a dancer impatient for fame

the wind whips the rain
electric cable whines through the night
wind whipping the trees on the mountains
in gallicia
i hear the drone still
it sang me a horrible tune last night
and the wind laughs

some days you can go only so far
some days don´t seem right
so you do what´s best to get through

triacastela pulls us to a stop
her small streets ask us to stay
the stone of ages past
stacked lined-up
made into walls made into homes and barns
i see these old stone walls and know
my life is somehow nothing
yet to look at the walls for a long time is
to know the entertainment of man and stone
to taste a bit of momentary security
and wonder at effort... intelligence.... and natures' gifts

sally sleeps
john twangs in the corner
i tap out words fitting for the lost time of an ever expanding universe

it´s a wonder that i still know how to read

the community is hanging together in weakness

anon

arrows

from leon to foncebadon
my eyes have been noticing the arrows
painted yellow on the sidewalks on the streets
on the sides of abandoned buildings
more recently the arrows have been construed
with stones on the dirt and stone paths
all the arrows point ahead
they all give some assurance that we are all on the way

but what about the couple i saw walking the other way today
i usspect they´ve made their way to santiago de compostela already
and are returning
they´re in it for the walk
bothe ways
but the rest of us are walking west
the arrows are our shared assurance
in the loose knit community
of the pilgrims

the arrow does not suggest speed
some move along fast others go quite slow

the arrows are at ground level for the most part

the other indications of shared community are
the greetings
the daily assurances of good will from strangers
the occasional conversation

the churches we recognize

we share rooms and sounds
our snoring like arrows filtering through the night

two or more walking

what is in a walk?
time effort willingness necessity perhaps

in the spirit of this blog i find myself wondering about community
three of us walk along the camino de santiago de compostela
we walk together we separate we meet up again
and all is well
we agree to watch out for one another
we give one another space
we share the fact of pain in the feet
we meet folks along the way
everyone is going in the same direction
most everyone else is walking with a degree of athleticism
i tend to go slow
i know my stamina is limited
but there is wisdom in going slow
what in fact is the rush
about anything
the three of us prefer to go slow

the spanish people for whatever else might be said about them
are people who know what leisure is about
i watched them in Leon in the evening walking
couples friends
the stroll seems obligatory
the taking time to sit and observe the passing of day
seems to humanize everything
tragedy presumptions of progress politics
all these things are measured by leisure
everything businesses farms cars walkways
everything is measured by human need
and human need is measured by the importance of leisure

i walk by businesses and most of them do not open till 10 in the morning
there is a 2 or 3 hour break and then from 4 till 7 they are open again
how sensible

what is in this walk
what gain
i do not know
i only know that i am walking
as rene char once stated

"THAT DAY I WAS JUST A PAIR OF LEGS WALKING"

the camino is about sharing faith
faith in the goodness of humanity
faith no matter what the dispostion
takes on a human quality
and the shared camino suggests something beyond time
something stretching way back in time
something stretching forward
history and mystery intersect on the camino

ultreya!